1. Awareness

   The first step in your healing journey (whatever it may look like) is recognizing and acknowledging the pain, trauma and emotional distress in your life, instead of pushing it away or remaining in a space of denial. This involves becoming aware of your coping mechanisms and intricately looking at how past experiences have shaped your present behaviours and emotional state.

   Sometimes this process can feel like you are viewing your present and past through a whole different lens- the veil feels like it is coming off. It is painful, especially to look at situations where those close to you who have hurt you, but on the other side of the pain is freedom.

2. Acceptance

Accepting (which can be a process- be patient and gentle with yourself) the reality of the pain or trauma without judgment is crucial. This means not blaming yourself or others but understanding that these experiences are part of one's history. Keeping a journal can be incredibly beneficial as part of the journey.

3. Connection

Healing often requires reconnecting with your true self and others. Often your true self is under the years of buried pain. Often much of what we perceive as our personality are in fact just learned behaviours that have been used to protect ourselves from getting hurt over the years.

Connection can involve seeking support from the correct therapists, support groups, or loved ones. Building healthy, supportive relationships is essential for emotional healing.

It also means coming to terms with the fact that you might never be to have restorative conversations with the people that have hurt you (and it healing is possible without these conversations). But if it is possible for you to have these conversations as part of your healing journey with whomever necessary (example: your parents) then this is a vital part of the connection phase.

Look through the options on the “trauma-informed modalities” tab and deep dive into whichever healing therapy you think will work best for you (with the underlying understanding that regulating your nervous system, understanding core childhood wounds and becoming an embodied present being, is the root). More than one modality can work, it’s a journey and not everyones story is the same.

4. Curiosity & Compassion (re-parenting yourself)

Becoming curious with parts of yourself that you struggle with, additionally becoming curious with how and why your body is communicating through disease & symptoms. Begin to ask yourself questions instead of shaming yourself or beating yourself up.

Where in your life is the same cycle repeating itself? What needs to drastically change in order for the cycle to come to an end?

Developing self-compassion is a key aspect of healing. This involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, as your healing journey progresses you will even gain capacity to extend empathy and compassion to others again- even those who hurt you.